The Beasts from the East by R.L. Stine

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 00:44:08 GMT

So when Mindy and Jessica showed up at my door saying that they were headed to hunt the ravenous beasts of the great Wyoming jungle, I declined...not (oh yeah!, grade school burn!) So we picked up machete's and hit the road, of course by road I mean trail that we blazzed with our giant hack-saw like knives.

When what should spring forth from the woods, but none other than Dr. Arlee Bishop of the later exosternucleousis, of course. She told us of her hard work in the search for the great beast known as la jackelopea that had raveged the people of a little known village known as Johnsville. We immediately signed on to her cause.

"Are you prudes" she asked.
"No, No!" we replied.

With that she pulled out a cigarette and some booze. Dedicated Doctor, smoker, booze-hound and badass, we followed her deep into the woods.

There we met up with the great indigenous peoples of the little known tribe of Hansonmegalondarian. They warned us that the only anti-dote was to eat the worms of their ancesteral dung.

So, the good doctor fed us like birds.
Turns out there may have been mushrooms growing in the dung, and we got up and got down with the sickness.

As we began to sober we realized we were surrounded by beasts known anciently as afrotyranesourasensation. So we ran, not pranced, shrieked, not sang, and stumbled, not skipped into the woods, away from the fire.

We soon realized have of the tribe was eaten alive and the dung we had eaten was not dung at all, but merely the livers of a tribe who feasted on their elderly and young! Oh god, why?

One by one I walked back through the woods to find my friends left in piles of carnage. As the doctor slowly died she admitted "I only loved bi---" then she was cut off. Her blood splashed into my eye like a certain episode of C.S.I. I contracted some disease and so no rabid forest beavers ate me.

But all that was left of everyone I loved was this shoe print. So here I stand B-loggin the shit out of it.

IT BEGINS

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 18:41:00 GMT

COME FOR THE PICTURES,
STAY FOR THE BLOOD BATHS

Owen Williams

The Beasts from the East by R.L. Stine

IT BEGINS

COME FOR THE PICTURES, STAY FOR THE BLOOD BATHS

COME FOR THE PICTURES,
STAY FOR THE BLOOD BATHS